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I had been to this place today,

Where the old meets the young,

Where the young guns put on a thinking cap

And the old appreciate it without second thoughts.

All the thinking is constructive,

Nowhere close to destruction;

A rear feat in today’s psychotic world of youth.!

There was creativity all around;

Shadows and Ostensibility blending together;

All of them showcasing their inner light to the outer world.

Such a lovely place to be,

But then I step out of that place and

All hell breaks looseL

BUGGY DAY

That was one special day of my life. It’s been some time but it’s still very fresh like a virgin thought in my mind. So for the special day and to all the special people who made that special day happen, here it is….

The flag was waved. I pressed the pedal with a gentle touch with anxiety and fear within. The whole world came to a standstill except for a few cars of my fellow rivals.  There was a rush of blood and adrenaline through my veins. Mind distances itself from the surroundings. As a matter of fact, even the ones I am supposed to do voluntarily become involuntary. Legs moving on its own command, hands are rotating all by it, eyes start capturing and forecasting through my optic nerve. All these are happening and much of it is happening as if when a person is in a coma state.

A couple of seconds pass by, things start getting digested finely and the villi start taking up the nutrients in bits and pieces. So I slowly started fitting into my seat. The fear of yet another failure was always looming at the back of my mind. This in turn showed up in my slow start at the beginning of the race. The psychological fear did not allow my foot to press the acc peddle to metal.  But contrary to it, all my competitors were zooming past me and I was doing the opposite.

But a slow start is a slow start and I ended up being the tail Enders. Amidst my settling down to the situation, a fear started to creep within me of not being among the front runners. One part of my brain was screaming to the other “It’s a race u dumb head, now or never”, so the reply “slow and steady wins the race”.

Then I realized slow and steady will take me nowhere and I need to up the stake, so started pressing the acc pedal more and more. I started to go faster on the curves, brake later and later, slid the buggy across the curves, got mud splashing of the tires, better tuned my senses, got more fuel burnt and crawled up the position board.

So by now every other buddy on the car had also started to kick the dust and it was becoming a hotter and tighter situation to be in. I loved every moment of it but did not have much time to relish it. In all this dust and chaos, one or two cars could not take so much beating, gave up on its driver and stalled on the sidelines of the main racing track. Suddenly there was a frantic movement of people towards the stalled buggies to perform makeshift repairs and make the cars moving. The sight of it suddenly brought me back haunting thoughts about a failure. But a sight on the race track with zooming cars kept my race consciousness intact.

When all things like my buggy, my mind were working well like a well oiled combo and working in great sync, all of a sudden a small problem started creeping up my buggy and I started realizing the intensity of it increasing every second. This was the time when I was making the dash for the podium, trying to push my car and my body and I realized I am in this situation. It was disheartening. I could have pushed my vehicle with that problem but realized that the engine might not last if continued.

 The problem was that the throttle was stuck and hampering the working of engine and my driving of the vehicle. Then I realized that it was happening because my acc pedal was bent and not allowing the throttle wire to go back to its idle position. So I had to decide whether to keep racing and end up not finishing or make a stop; get it corrected and complete the race but mostly not in the top. I choose to stop. My teammates came running towards me and started panicking. I then had to explain them the problem; make them understand it and finally got it corrected. Every passing second was like passing a light year. The situation was like a ticking time bomb. The value of time was immensely felt.

So it was back to pure racing and hoping that the problem won’t creep up again. I had lost a couple of positions to my competitors, so it was payback time now. I totally got into the groove of racing, so did everyone who was racing around me.  Lap after lap things started to look better. I went up the ladder; a few positions by one to one real racing and a few positions because my car held up and my rival’s cars gave up.

Luck and hard driving put me in a good position and to be more specific I was in second position trailing just one car. That was the good part but the bad part was that he was too ahead of me and it was tough to catch up with him. To top it off, the bent acc pedal was not holding up completely and was getting bent from time to time. This forced me to stop by and get it corrected from my fellow mates. This was simply lengthening the gap between me and the car ahead of me and eating away the lead from the car behind me. 

I used to stop and start but things went on from there. The race was coming to the final stages; just a few remaining laps so all my focus was onto holding my position and pushing till the end. But then came a situation when the leader of the pack was about to overlap me. It just infuriated me to the brim. He did sneak past me and I just could not bear it, so I made this serious move on him and squeezed my buggy past him. I still remember that particular moment when I made that bold move which could have had consequences.

That move I made was on a curve was almost like a U turn at the start of the track. I carried my pace into the corner; braked late; got my buggy sliding just a few inches away from the other buggy. The suspension and brake setup on my buggy made the back of my buggy slide sideways and just provide me the space to overtake him again. This move scared my fellow mates who came screaming past the pit lane to yell at me to slow down and try finishing the race rather that than hamper the entire race in the last leg of it just to satisfy my egoistic thirst. It also scared me once I realized what I had done in the heat of the moment. But by good grace, it just ended as a spectacular racing moment and not a spectacular racing disaster.

All in all, did complete the remaining laps relishing every second of it. The checkered flag was waved and the big race had come to an end. I slowed down and stopped my buggy close to my team mates who were waiting impatiently to receive me. I made a final confirmation on the final standings and found out that we had indeed ended up in second position.  

There was complete jubilancy in the air with screams &howling filling up the place. I was still soaking up the moment when my team mates lifted me up in the air announcing loudly to everyone around that we have finished and arrived on the podium. It was such a delight!

In between all the hustle, news reporters and cameraman of a couple of news channel had squeezed past and started bombarding me with questions like how was it? How does it feel? Etc etc. I was speechless. I never used to understand how people get speechless like when somebody received an Oscar for example. But that was the time I realized how a person could go speechless without able to utter any word even though he has a million things in his mind which he would want to shoot of his mouth like a typhoon.

We had won 30000 rs as the prize money but it was just making no value to the feat we had achieved for ourselves. It was the day when we had quenched our inner lust; answered a billion unanswered questions; made people around us happy. It was an answer to all our hardship which we had put to bring the buggy to where it was today. The entire buggy days just swept past our little minds like a flash. I have had such a colossal experience that even today, I can architecture every moment of the race in front of my eyes. Unbelievable…!

Thank you to all those people who made it happen.                                                                                                    

Cheers to Team Stratos .!

Life and Moments

Moments happen at times.

Moments exist and moments perish..!

Live for moments rather than

Just a sustained living..!  

Reality

I still haven’t found what I am looking for,

I still haven’t found the one I am looking for,

I am in cross roads yelling out to the world.

There are others out there,

doing the same.

Yet we all are poles apart.!

Baby steps...

Schrecklich Mittwoch :-(

Es ist der Tag die Woche,

Wenn ich halb weg durch bin,

Die Wocke hat ihre schonheit oder Glanz verloren,

Und die Wochenende veil weg ist...

Schrecklich wahhlerisch...

Okay heres what I am saying....

Dreadful Wednesday :-(

It is that day of the week,

When I am half way through,

The week has lost its sheen and beauty,

And the weekend is still far fetched dream...

Horribly nice....

Wantings.

When Sadness smothers us,

When everything around falls apart,

With blasts of sadness around the corner,

Potholes of grievances on our shoulders…

There is a sudden realization from within…

A call from inside…

Wanting to be in solitude

Or wanting for a mermaid swimming past,

Or wanting for a mirage to appear in front of you,

Where everything is pleasingly beautiful.

Or wanting for a magic wand,

Or wanting for a simple duster which clears the way for better understanding of things around,

Too many wants

For just a 5 letter word “PEACE” to be found inside one…. ..

ANTI CORRUPTION BUT ALSO ANTI ANNA HAZARE MOVEMENT: STOP CURSING @ ME AND READ(I know its long).

OK I know by now I would have already fumed many of them. When everyone has the right to support Anna Hazare, I have the equal rights to say my view since we live in a democratic country. I hope it still is a democratic country. So here's my say on it:
I know Anna is not fasting for his personal needs, he is doing it for the entire nation to get  a stronger jan lokpal bill to eradicate corruption. India is a democratic country so he has all the rights to perform a peaceful protest.
But look at the other way round, he fasted once and that was fine. Now its more like blackmailing the government to get what he wants. Speaking about the government, we were the people who elected the present government to power. So its also our mistake to elect them.
Now u may say that all politicians are same, everyone is corrupt. So we just cant be spectators to the entire drama and keep blaming the corrupt politicians.
Jan lokpal bill has created an awareness among people and corruption might reduce in following months, but its like we are creating a parallel govt. Who knows how lokpal and lok ayukta might function in future. Even they may turn corrupt.I hope this does not happen but who knows the future. Lok pal and lok ayukta might work and I might be wrong but there is uncertainty.
With lokpal bill we are trying to solve an issue just by bringing in some fear in our corrupt politicians but will it work? I feel any problem should be solved by treating the root cause. The root cause is corrupt politicians, so y don't we so called "right people" get into the political system and bring a change from within.But r we ready for the hardships which is not like a 9 to 5 job and doesn't pay us any fixed salaries till we are elected to power?
Talking about PM Office to be involved in the lokpal, how many times do normal people like us go and pay bribe to PM? We as regular people would rather be happy if the next time we go to the passport office or license office and get the work done without paying any bribe there. So we will be happy to get the change @ the root level. Ok say lets assume PMO is included in the bill and they find PM to be corrupt. He is caught red handed by the lokpal. What next ? The party removes him from the post  and who do u think he ll be replaced by? It ll be another corrupt politician. Just try to go back and remember what happened in Karnataka a few months ago and now Karnataka has ended up in such a mess with no strong leader to lead the state. So the investors are varied about investing in Karnataka; so the development in the state takes a back seat. Who ll suffer? Its us with no new jobs, no new openings.
So think a little about it before just going to the streets with Anna masks and caps. It would be nicer if TEAM ANNA and THE PANEL set for implementing the bill talks on the table, come to a negotiation and pass the bill. Getting PMO included and everything can be made through amendments later on as and when things start shaping up.
I hope I haven't offended any one, this is my view on the entire scenario after looking at the youth who don't really know much about the bill making so much noise just to be on TV or more so like being cool(At times I could see the Indian Flag being on the ground and people walking on it shouting Anna slogans, Is this y he is fasting?). I might be wrong or judgmental but its my view.
 THE END

My take on today.:-P

Late one one day,

I was on top of a wall,

A dam wall, a scenic wall,

Supporting me to see an array of greens and lush nature to which I belong to.

It also keeps the water at bay, U guessed it right,

It’s a dam after all.

Actually its nothing to do about the dam or the water,

Its about the tourists who stop by this place to sink into the tranquility around.

Fish resides in water collected by the dam wall on which I was standing.

Fish needs food; tourists need a change, a feel of feeding helpless animals,

And so called backward people need money.

Money to sustain a living;

So the chain works this way,

Tourists buy fish food packed in plastic sachets,

 with their hard earned money from the backward people.

So the fish gets food, backward people get money leading to money distribution.

So it must be a happy ending after all isn’t it?

But the aftermath of the above incident is,

 Brainless Tourists throw the plastic sachets also into the water after emptying them,

But plastic is not fish food, some fishes are dumb,

And they eat them along.

Get their gut poisoned and die. Sad.

These smaller fishes are eaten by bigger ones and they too die.

So the government intervenes and bans the use of plastic @ the location.

The backward people have nothing to wrap,

So they end up not getting any money, so they too die of hunger.

The tourists have nothing creative to do on the wall,

So they stop visiting the place all together.

The hard earned money starts accumulating and end up in swiss banks.

Our money in other country’s bank? Not right.

So a spark among the people to try and retrieve it back.

And a revolt, a fast and peace rallies.

We end up in a present day society.

Where are we after all? What have we done to ourselves? 

Journey

I started with a twitch in the muscles…

Starting to conquer places at a fast pace.

Pace was hindered with glitches in the middle, under the shades of hope!

 Hope took me a long way through roads swindling across woods.

Tree after tree, I went on and on.

In the midst of pangs and cramps, a sense of worthiness of the body is felt.

Ultimately I am in the soul of the traveler.

JOURNEY

Adult

Days are passing,

We are getting older and older with every passing day,

Passing day I would say with every passing minute we are getting older,

We are trying to cope up with it, but r we built up for it?

Weren’t the older times simpler, plane to understand?

It was just surreal living; we lived to live our lives peacefully.

It was just food, play, sleep, cry and a laugh.

Somebody always there around to support you, guide you at every stepping stone.

But now as we grow up, we try to outpace time itself.

We try to swindle ourselves.

Now all of a sudden we want more

And more

Of everything around,

We just want more food, more pay, more sleep, more money, more name,  more fame

Above all we want more time,

More time to get more of more.

We are blindly running for the price.

At what cost?

What is the price all about?

We get selfish, try to reason our doings not sure if they are right or wrong.

Try to be nice and evil, double dress, cross dress with our inner mind.

Just to get more of all.

The society is growing on this venomous obsession like a creepy poisonous self eating vampire.

I fear we are about to eat ourselves inside out.

And I hope after eating inside out what remains would be a sweet tiny creature,

More child like,

Just wanting the right things in right amounts, nothing more

But is everybody up for it?

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A heavy heart sinking…

Just feeling lost again

Wanting to run away,

Too much of madness around me,

Things really flying past my small obnoxious mind and heart,

Talking about mind and heart,

They were supposed to be in synergy,

Synergy with everything around,

But in raw form the mind has become heavy and sunk to plumetless  depths,

Is it under my control to always be happy?

Happiness is what I always crave for,

But then why do I loose it under my own warmth hands,

But without sadness will I be able to feel what happiness really means?

Fortunate or unfortunate is that I always see a ray of hoping light at the end of tunnel.

Has my hope left me?

Left me in dire straights,

Undressed and naked to find my own clothing,

I scramble and rattle upon to find the bits and pieces,

I try to find a way out ,try to argue with own self, try to fight my own consciousness,

Try not to desert the hope in mid way,

But y is there indifference from the other end,

Am I left alone to fight it with my own wit?

Am I the last warrior standing to wage the war against my cruel enemies?

Is it best to dodge them or hit them back black and blue,

to ultimately win over him.

Is winning really that important to me?

I wonder…

Or lay low and escape into the bushes of the wilderness and loose myself to the ultimate freedom

Where it is all white, peaceful, happy, and blissful

I walk along the long snaky trail alone to unravel the misteries,

Unlock the treasured box,

Curious to know what it is at the next turn

And move on..

Moving it is I shall do at any cost and nobody can steal that away from me.

Moving,

Step by step….

Living out of a suitcase!

A suitcase, a big one with wheels attached to its bottom for easy conveyance  is what I got along with myself for this epic journey which I was about to undertake for a small part of my life. A small part but definitely an impact maker journey of my life. So for this, as I have mentioned earlier I got myself in one piece with an exploring attitude and then a big suitcase with all my stuff for the war I was about to wage.

The suitcase was a heavy one, heavy because it was filled with anything and everything up to the brim.   The zipper holding it was under strain trying its best to contain all those items and not let go of any. The things included everything from the ones which I needed for everyday usage, ones which I needed to protect myself at difficult times, ones which would help me fight when I was in a war with bacteria, viruses, female anopheles and bigger and bigger enemies, to things which help me keep fit and n number of feelings of mine. All were shut in it.

I pulled my heavy suitcase into a new territory which my suitcase had never seen before with a fresh mindset. The suitcase had to wade through cluster of hurrying people on the platform of Indian railways trying to catch different trains of their choice and preference. So my big suitcase had to fight right from there to uphold it. Tough times had begun but there was this fresh breeze blowing right across my cheek and it was a refreshing one.  

I then searched around to find a place for my heavy suitcase. The Suitcase had to be placed in a warm welcoming environment and a place which would provide me more fun, frolic and joy which I can stuff it back into it. The scouting did take its toll on my bag as it had to be pulled hard at times, pushed at times and tried to be squeezed through at times. Time came when it became very uncertain about finding a decent place for my bag.

In the eleventh hour I found a place where I felt my Suitcase would be safe and secure, made a final call and moved into the new place with my big suitcase. I was finally relieved that I had found a place for my suitcase and time had come when I was ready to unpack and deflate it. This was very shaky as well as scary thing to do as the suitcase with everything of mine in it which was held safely within its confinement was about to be exposed to the bare and cruel world. It was like skinning out a chicken alive.

So I braced myself for this huge task which I was about to undertake.  My hands went to the zipper of my bag and felt small tremors in my heart as and when the zipper would go in and go out of those tiny grooves.

Zipper moved inch by inch and my bag was finally opened and it suddenly started to glow like a ton of gold would have glowed. It was all there exactly the way I had packed it. The worth of the suitcase was all due to what it contained within it. I visually criss crossed to get an overview of all the items in my suitcase and it looked all safely tucked in there.

I nonchalantly started to pick each of those items and then made a proper place and setting for them. I first picked up my essential items and arranged them neatly as they were essential. This gave me a good sign that it would become easier to stay as all those items which I would need at a regular intervals would be at my arms length. This made the bag a tinge lighter.  

Once the essentials were out, the survival became much simpler. This made me feel warmth surrounded around my stuff.  My people, my things, my friends, my workplace, anything mine always sounds sweet. Making anything mine is a difficult part but; like people are always there around, things are always there, companies are always there around us, adding my or making it mine takes right perceptions, liking, attitude and etc. But once anything becomes mine, you’ll start adoring it, loving it, working for it, living for it.

So with a little lighter mind I then viewed at my little lighter bag which was now filled with items which did not have everyday importance but needed at times. But it would make a huge impact whenever needed or used. The items would protect me and my people at tough times. So it needed to be strategically placed. I might lose them in wind of time or they might get filled with dust and then would be difficult to scavenge them when those were needed at dire times.

One by one I picked those critical items, gave a deep thought for each item, understood its value, felt it so that I could find the most apt place for them. The pills got its place in a safe area easily visible to all who might need them at various times and would help to save them. My other equipments found the other corner where it would not be disturbed until they were needed and they won’t be a disturbance until I needed them.

My bags buoyancy was coming down but it was also getting more difficult to sort the remaining items and then make a place for them as I was running out of space now. I had to amend my arrangement and create new space out of the existing space and place those items.

 There was also the biggest of the big thing still untouched. Living a hurried lifestyle I had actually forgotten about the most precious item in my bag, it was all my emotions which I had packed it back home safely so as to feel it and share it in this new place and that was making me nervous and weak. So I carefully looked at it in my suitcase and enumerate how much and its purity. The surface of it was little worn out but was still present in a good condition and quantity. I deflowered it with all the care, it started pouring out, used it to strengthen myself and started to share it, spread it, smear it, and paint it across the streets of this new place.

The place started seeming to be mine at its expense. But it never turned out to be completely mine and my bag also never got emptied completely. I wondered Y?

Heedfully I went and looked back into my bag and discovered tons more left in it. It was startling to know but I later started to realize that whatever packed in my home was very auspicious and precious and unpacking it was close to impossible unless some miracles would happen. Other thing was that the suitcase was also getting filled back up with fresh items picked from this new place; which could not find space here, had to be taken back home.

I never assumed that emptying a bag would be so atrociously difficult when I was packing it and have understood that it will keep getting filled up. Filling it up is actually not a bad thing but filling it with what content and to what extent becomes important. Balancing between filling up and emptying is all what it is at the end of the day. It is like balancing it on a tight rope and getting it right so as to not fall on either side of the tangling rope is what I try to do day in and day out for the weeks to come by.

END